Steel Panther
May 29, 2014
House of Blues- Cleveland, OH
Many of us are far too young to have experienced the peak of the days of 1980s heavy metal, but luckily Steel Panther are keeping them alive and well. The House of Blues in Cleveland, OH was the final stop on the All You Can Eat Tour before their festival touring and their performance left everyone full but craving for more. The crowd was a good mixture of older and younger adults dressed to the nines with big hair wigs, spandex, leather, and bandannas. The Future Villains starred as the opening act and were more than just an appetizer. They are a young modern band keeping 80’s metal from fading away and provided the fuel needed to get the audience into the mood. The combination of the singer’s high-pitched notes, powerful beats on the kick drum, and the wailing guitar solos set the atmosphere for the crowd. The singer, Michael Starr from Steel Panther came out to join the Future Villains for a cover of If You Want Blood by ACDC and gave us a glimpse that he was ready to rock Cleveland. The last song of their set had the stagehands slowly taking away microphones, parts of the drum set, and amplifiers while still performing to set the tone of the antics that we would witness on stage by Steel Panther.
The lyrics that make up Steel Panther’s songs are hilarious enough as it is, but I guarantee that you have never witnessed a stage show as funny as what unfolded before the audience and I. As the curtain rose, sparkling purple and leopard print spandex, cut off t-shirts, colorful bandannas, makeup, and big hair through a haze of smoke could be seen. Bassist Lexxi Foxx with his purple and pink polka dotted bass and Satchel with his tiger stripped guitar stepped forward starting off the set with Pussy Whipped from their new album All You Can Eat. After the first song, the crowd was already beaming with bright smiles and a wave of shocker hands matching Starr’s on stage. Starr and Satchel traded jokes back and fourth while Foxx applied lip gloss and hairspray looking into his vanity mirror. Cleveland is Foxx’s hometown and the rest of the band made sure to include his family, mostly his mom and sister, in the bunt of their jokes. Their stage show blended perfectly with transitions into their songs that continued with Asian Hooker and Tomorrow Night. Foxx then walked off to the side stage but didn’t attempt to hide himself potentially snorting a questionable substance off his mirror, while Starr let a police officer standing guard know that he would share the Steel Panther pussy to prevent any arrests after smelling marijuana in the air.
Steel Panther’s stage personae almost makes you forget how talented these musicians really are, but Satchel made sure to remind us with a combination of his own solos and those from other 80’s metal bands such as Van Halen. The solo led into Turn Out The Lights, but our laughter soon continued after this with Starr showing why he loves coming to Cleveland by bringing out a lady with what she said were triple I knockers he met this night. She made sure to flash the drummer, Stix Zadinia and after the audience saw some side boob, they kept us rocking with Party like Tomorrow is the End of the World. Starr and the Zadinia then turned the heavy metal down with an acoustic set for Girl From Oklahoma, but even this softer song kept laughter in the air with lyrics like “Oh, come on pretty baby, suck my balls all night!” Steel Panther just kept the ladies going crazy all night so Satchel and Starr yelled for them to come up and dance on stage as they turned the metal back to heavy with The Burden of Being Wonderful and 17 Girls in a Row. As these ladies were seductively dancing on stage, 
Starr demanded a make out session for the crowd. A girl in leopard spandex with a red mullet wig and a girl in neon pink fish nets with a shaved head took their kissing to center stage to lead into Death to All but Metal. The girls and the band then left the stage, but Steel Panther returned with an encore of Community Property and Party All Day (F**k All Night) to conclude their gut busting performance.
Steel Panther is the epitome of the lifestyle of heavy metal bands of the 1980’s. Their profane lyrics and exaggerated on stage personae exemplify what being a rock star in this time period was all about. Everyone in the audience wore a wide toothed grin as we departed the venue, chattering amongst themselves about what part of the show was best. Even as we left the good times rolled on as Starr made sure to watch out for the safety of his fans by reminding those who drank tonight to do a fat line of blow to help focus before getting behind the wheel. Go purchase their new album All You Can Eat and don’t miss out on your chance to see their live show so you can experience what sex, drugs, and rock n roll is all about!
Review by: Chad Johnston
Steel Panther
Future Villains
