Metalachi
December 5, 2015
Whisky A Go-Go- Los Angeles, CA
There are many cover bands out there in the world. There are bands that just play, then there’s bands like Metalachi. Metalachi is the world’s first and only heavy metal mariachi band. How is Metalachi different from other cover bands? They are special because they do covers of rock and metal songs using mariachi instruments. For stage attire, they do blends of GWAR, Rob Zombie, KISS, and other hair metal bands. It might sound a bit silly at first, but once you see them for yourself you forget what you first thought of them and you end up with an incredibly fun night. A quick YouTube search will also bring up tons of videos of live performances. The world-famous Whisky A Go Go on the sunset strip was the first stop on their current tour and the people from Hollywood already knew that they were in for a wild night of metal mariachi, booze, music, and of course, chichis(boobs)!
The members of Metalachi consist of: Vega De La Rockha (vocals), El Cucuy (trumpet), Pepe Pantera (violin), Paco Halen (guitar), and Nacho Picante (bass). At first glance of their stage, you’ll find their mic stands are covered with women’s bras from past shows. At midnight, the five brothers in Metalachi came down the stairs to their dedicated fanbase and received a huge cheer from them. Metalachi started the show with their cover of the classic mariachi song, Guadalajara except they change the lyrics to say “Metalachi, Metalachiii!”. It’s a good way to get the party started.
The first cover was Ozzy Osbourne’s Bark at the Moon. Rockha would hold out the mic and let the fans sing the title, “Bark at the Moon!”. Next up was Iron Maiden’s Run to the Hills and did that get the fans singing along to “Run to the Hills…run for your liiife!”. El Cucuy paused after the song for a bit to talk about how he noticed that Christmas music was playing at the malls before Thanksgiving even started. Metalachi continued the show with Twisted Sister’s We’re Not Gonna Take It and is another song that had the crowd singing along. A fan yelled out asking what happened to the usual violin player Maximillian “Dirty” Sanchez. The band had to explain he was “in jail” and for now the violin would be played by Pepe Pantera. Rockha brought out his guiro instrument and fans knew what song was next. It was Alice In Chain’s Man in the Box. Not only that song, but they also blended in a song titled La Negra Tomasa (The Black Woman Tomasa) by Cuban composer Cuillermo Rodriguez Fiffe and made famous by Mexican rock band, Caifanes. It being a very popular Mexican song, the Hispanics in the crowd could all be seen dancing to the song in Cumbia style.
Metalachi’s manager Warren Moscow came out to the stage and told everyone they’re gonna make bad decisions and they’re gonna like it! Metalachi next did a medley of Blue Oyster Cult’s Don’t Fear the Reaper, AC/DC’s Thunderstruck, and another popular Mexican song played by Antonio Banderas and Los Lobos (The Wolves) titled, Canción del Mariachi (Morena de Mi Corazón) (The Mariachi’s Song) (Brown Skinned Girl of My Heart)). People could be seen dancing again and the song gives off a cheery vibe to where you just wanna get drunk and dance whether you know how to or not. To get back in the rock and roll lifestyle, Metalachi played Rock and Roll All Nite by the band, KISS. Everyone in the venue knows that song so the whole venue could be heard singing along to the chorus. El Cucuy made note of any cougar women in the crowd and that he could see them hiding in the back and spot the ones in training among the crowd. He then talked about a childhood memory of his involving his teacher Ms. Mendoza with big boobs and how often he would purposely get detention after school just to see her. According to Rockha, El Cucuy had just barely been out of high school for a year and El Cucuy verified with the crowd it was the best six years of his life. More hilarious shenanigans were done by Metalachi to keep the crowd entertained. So in turn, El Cucuy dedicated this next song to his teacher. Paco Halen came up front to the stage and played a guitar solo instead of the double bass drumming of the next song while Pepe Pantera played his violin to the familiar guitar intro to Van Halen’s Hot For Teacher. Rockha asked Cucuy if he did his homework to which Cucuy shook his head no, so it looks like he’s got detention again.
Up next was the best pat of the show. It involves when Metalachi brings a woman on stage and the band has their ways with her including a lap dance from Rockha and Cucuy while they perform Fuck Her Gently from Tenacious D. With the show coming close to an end, Metalachi started bringing out more of the heavy metal arsenal with Quiet Riot’s Bang Your Head (Metal Stealth) followed by Rage Against the Machine’s Killing In the Name.
Now that the show had come to an end, Metalachi picked one of the greatest metal songs to finish the show. It was Slayer’s Raining Blood. The fact that Metalachi pulled off a song like this with mariachi instruments is truly an incredible sight and will be a blessing to your ears. For the last verse of the song, Rockha had everyone raise their horns in the air making everyone look horny with the horns and waive them side to side to match how slow the last verse of the song was played before pausing for a second for Rockha to yell out, “Raining Bloooood!” and then the band continued the song and let out the final part of the song with a mix of instruments being played at the same time. Metalachi was leaving the stage, but fans still wanted more and were chanting for one more song. Metalachi listened after consideration. Before playing the last song, Metalachi paid their respects to former Stone Temple Pilots and Velvet Revolver singer Scott Weiland who passed away on December 3rd with Rockha saying, “We told you to stop doing drugs, puto”. The night came to a closing with Dio’s Holy Diver and fans also loved singing along to the chorus for this. Metalachi wrapped up their performance and thanked the fans for coming out and supporting them and as usual, they’d be at the merch stand for photos and signings. Metalachi is a truly amazing band that is really interesting to see live and should you see them coming to your town, you will not be disappointed. They love Metalachi virgins.
Review by: Misael Ruiz
